Manhood, Boundaries & Brotherhood: Lessons We Wish We Knew Earlier

0:00 If that's not who you are, then you have to have somebody who is capable of that, at least in those lines of communication. You know, making sure that I'm at least knowing, "All right, this is what we intend to do. Plans might change, you know, and that's okay for plans to change, just let me know." You know, until I tell the kids, man, not my oldest one but the other, I got two 18-year-olds. So the youngest 18-year-old, we constantly got to tell him. We went to, we went to Florida. He went around the beach by himself, all right, you know, time. He was like, he just turned 18. That's cool, you're 18, but I need you to remember, always let somebody know where you're at. You know, something happens, at least one of us knows where you're at.

1:01 very, he can communicate, he could probably sell ice to an Eskimo, you know.

2:05 It costs nothing and means everything. You can catch Classic Man on all major podcast platforms, so head over to classicmanpodcast.com after the show for guest info, all the links, bonus content, and maybe support the team, buy him a cup of coffee. Secondly, beyond being a friend and brother to these guys featured on this podcast, I also launched a business that might just change the way you think about web design. It's called the EGT Universe, and you can find out all about it at egtuniverse.com and get on the ground floor when we launch the public service. You can join the newsletter and get in on a whole new way to build your brand online. No more Squarespace, no more WordPress, just a sleek, high-end, luxury web experience without the price tag of a Fortune 500. And if you or someone you know is launching something or operates a brand, a non-profit, a business, and they need a digital facelift, my marketing company can help them. We've already started serving startups, creatives, and even big organizations. It's a real impact. Go to egtuniverse.com and drop me a line. But for now, turn it up, tune in.

3:09 really focus. Let's get into today's content. It's like, man, communicate!

4:14 Exactly right. The only people who should be in this area are those of us invited, right? You know, so we got all of that laid out. Or like you said, if we need to go get you, you know, we know where you're at.

5:17 sitting at this pump, dude never pumped gas and going to store anything, sitting there for like 15, 20 minutes, you know. I'm just sitting there chopping around, I'm just watching everything kind of unfold. Went inside, got me an energy drink from my drive home, and I'm like, "Let me put this air in your tire." She's like, "I know how to do it." I didn't question whether you knew how to do it or not, right? You know, like, is chivalry so dead, right? Is man, is being a man so far out of being a man nowadays that I can't put some air in your tire, and you sit in the car, and you not assume I'm trying to flirt with you or cause you harm or cause you problems?

6:19 put this air in your tire. Get in your car, I'm gonna put this air in your tire."

7:19 on air in her tire, and I just pumped the gas, oblivious, not paying attention, not looking to defend or protect in that type of a situation, and one of the second or third worst spots in the city of Detroit.

8:20 when I first moved here, the neighbor next door, he comes over, introduced himself. "Hey, this is my number, this is my name."

9:23 on the suburb of Philly. We're walking, we come around the corner, that neighbor had a car parked on the street. They had, like, some family over, so they had three or four cars in the driveway and two cars on the street. This was the further one up. Dude's legit, he wiggled the handle and then was winding his elbow up to bust the window out. Me and my dog happened to come around. I heard the handle jiggle first.

10:25 these conversations. But it's like, how would that have been if I didn't know him, if I didn't talk to him? And, you know, you said, you said Philly, that reminded me. Didn't, didn't you guys have, like, uh, it wouldn't, wouldn't, who's a Boston, you guys, you guys in your Boston, right?

11:28 because what are you going to do towards my family?

12:31 when we go into the gym, he'll be like, "Man, I don't understand how you recognize so much." I'm like, "Man, I practice."

13:34 yeah. Now that person, I know what they deal with, been around that before.

14:36 had one guy who, he had finished his OPADA course, yop's, uh, officer training, and, uh, this is when I was working at the range. He had bought his firearm for his job from me, so yada yada yada. And now we had a rule where if you had a rifle, we will put your optic on it, but we wouldn't put your optic on your handgun there, because people complain that things didn't go right, blah, blah, blah. So I told him, "Look, what side of town you live on? Pull up on me at the gym, I'll come outside to the parking lot, jump in the car with you, right? Put your red dot on, whatever, whatever." So he pulls up, we're chopping, Jay never comes and gets in the car.

15:37 questions after he wouldn't get in. I'm like, "Right, it's all good." Like, first off, I'm not gonna put you in that type of place where you're not gonna be safe.

16:43 are and your values trying to save somebody else. You don't need to be stuck in a relationship with somebody, right? Because you're not supposed to be with.

17:44 all right, so I'm gonna describe somebody to you, all right? So I want you to tell me if you think you would recognize her at Kroger. Okay, so she's funny.

18:49 mean. And so you can change your inside more than you can change your outside.

19:52 and even if you change, you know, the skin tone, you still can't change your culture or where you were raised, right?

21:02 sometimes you have to put yourself in a different environment.

22:05 that's always forced by the manager to close when nobody else can cover.

23:09 uh, because now her kid's going to school, and she's like, "Well, I can't, like, I've tried to ask for the schedule, and she just keeps saying, 'Well, the perfect schedule doesn't exist.'"

24:11 where, okay, you, you think about breaking up with somebody because you know it's messing with your mental health, you know it's not good for you, you know that your family doesn't like this person, and you stick in that relationship, and you're thinking about it, and you, you know you should do something, but since you didn't do something, the decision to stay was made.

25:16 and you refuse to. And then at some point, you still made the same decision, so you decided to waste two more years, three more years until you hit your head hard enough.

26:23 something that you experience is like a problem, you know.

27:23 Yeah, to receive the answers.

28:26 them because she made the same mistake over and over and over in this game. And I'm like, at some point you have to do something different.

29:33 don't agree with it. And this is why I had a frying pan thrown in my head, all right? Because I didn't agree with the boundary, however, I said I would hold that boundary.

30:33 don't feel safe, and you don't feel like I hear you, you don't feel like I see you, you don't feel like I'm going to continue to hold those things, right, as important to me or trust you. And was it something that was a big deal to me? No.

31:33 you disagree on.

32:37 you kind of know my struggles right now, where I'm at, and although it always looks gravy, there's a lot that we both deal with.

33:39 cling on to those things.

34:40 somebody come in with all kinds of spirits into my home...

35:41 sad, and it's, I mean, there were some movies that started to deal with it. I know nothing is black and white, right? There's never an extreme that you can go to that's healthy, right? And I know I've said that a lot, and I'm trying to drill that into people's minds when it comes to assuming that everything in regards to mental health is a spirit or a demon or something on that line gets dangerous.

36:43 other people who believe the same things.

37:46 one. Um, the other movie was, it's not "Splice." Oh my goodness, it's the guy, he has the different personalities.

38:48 three different views from his brain.

39:54 more come after one takes root.

40:57 your life at that point.

42:01 with them mentally.

43:07 that was insane.

44:08 to even just because you don't believe something exists doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

45:09 we've done things that you can learn from, we've interacted with people, and we have stories and things that can make your pathway through life just a little bit easier. So I'm glad that you've gone through the process of listening, that you want to do something better with yourself, you want to do something different in your life, for your kids' lives, for those around you. So listen, I need you to like, comment, subscribe, share, send this to somebody, share it, because this message, the things that we're trying to do, is absolutely crucial to those around us being better people as well. All right, I want to be somebody that you feel like you can trust, that you can lean on, that you can turn into. I want that same thing for you, and I know that you want to be able to lean on those close to you. All right, so let's do this together. Reach out to somebody, make sure that they are hearing this message, and let's take a step this week in the right direction to be better, to be a better person, to be somebody who's a better communicator, to be a better partner, to be a better son, daughter, brother,

46:12 sister, whatever it is. Let's take that step together and build a community where all of us feel safe and comfortable opening up about the things that we have going on and allowing others to help us in those same areas. Thanks for tuning in to Classic Man. This episode didn't challenge your thinking and resonate with you, you just weren't really listening. I'm Justin Kazmierczak, founder of the EGT Universe, and it's been a pleasure being here with you on this journey. If you know someone who's starting a business, rebuilding their brand, or just needs a serious digital upgrade, hit me up. I'm at JumpCutKing on Instagram, or head over to egtuniverse.com. That's egtuniverse.com, and drop me a line. Also, show some love to Carter and the crew behind Classic Man. Head over to classicmanpodcast.com for all the guest info, all the official links, and bonus content. Also, chip in, I'm a cup of coffee. Let's be real, if we as men don't show up together, don't band together, we can't grow together. So check back here every week

47:17 same time, you're on your favorite podcast platform for the most up-to-date content. Don't call it slipping, stay connected. We'll see you right here. Classic Man Podcast, next time.